Part 13 ~ We all have Dirty little secrets

I finally got back to work after a month. I haven’t seen Isshi since I snapped at him and bit his head off. I think the band is avoiding me all together, until Miyavi decided to befriend me.
“I’m sure Isshi will come see you, he feels really bad” Miyavi says as he bounds around the shop as I quickly restocked it. Did I tell you, I dyed my hair a blue pink and black, with the help of the energetic musician.
“I really want to apologise, I was so angry and hateful when I said that to him and I really regret it” I say as I move a blue strand out of my eyes. Miyavi took the empty box from me.
“Well, I could convince him to go and talk to you” he says as he throws the box at Sariya and Momi, who scream in annoyance.
“I don’t want him to be forced to do anything he doesn’t want to do” I say as I grab a box of mangas and start to stock them, Miyavi just follows me around.
“If he doesn’t get you first, I may have to take you” Miyavi says with a laugh and a wink as I playfully hit him on the arm.
“Sorry, Meev but my heart is elsewhere” I say as he nods, he knew my feelings we’re not for him, but he knows I love him as a brother. Nao walks in and hugs Momi, before coming towards me.
“Akii-chan, here” Nao says as he hands me a note. I took it as he returns to Momi, Miyavi tries to get it from me only to get swatted away. I gently open it to see familiar writing.
To Neko, 
I’m sorry, If it seems like I’m avoiding you but I want to make amends.
Call me when you have the time, so we can talk face to face.
From Isshi

I give a smile but it held a sign of worry.
“Do you have a mobile Miyavi?” I ask as he pulls out his phone from his pants and hand’s it to me. I flick through it, looking at all the numbers, which includes Gackt, whole of the GazettE, alice nine., kra and last but not least Kagrra,. I found Isshi’s name and rang that. After two rings he picked up.
“What is it now Miyavi?” a soft, yet saddened voice snaps as I manage to suppress a laugh.
“Yes, I am Miyavi desu” I say as Miyavi laughed like an idiot in the background, while Isshi sounded like he was chocking on something.
“Akiina?” he asks.
“The one and only, got your message. Unfortunely, doctor says I need to stay home for the next two months, only allowed to leave for work, so it’s kind of restricted” I half inform as I hear Isshi give a sigh.
“What time?” he asks as I tell him, I finish at 6, so about 7-8pm.
“I’ll see you then” he says as we both hang up and I gave Miyavi his phone back.
“Thanks o-niisan” I say as I give him a strong hug, which he happily returns.
~*~*~*~*~
[After Work]
I walk inside as I give a yawn.
“So did you ring him?” Shin asks as he and Kira look up from their movie.
“Yes, I told him to come over around seven to eight” I say as I walk upstairs.
“We’ll send him to your room” Kira yells as I simply nod to no one in particular. I walk in and change into my usual attire of black shorts and a Kimono top. I look over at my plushie collection. There was a hide one Momi bought me, the rest I made and it ranges from Miyavi, Gackt, Yasu, Reita and tones more. My Number one Plushie was my Isshi one, it even has its own clothing collection. I plop myself on my bed.
~What should I do, what should I say?~ I thought as I hear a knock on my door, I look up to see Isshi in my doorway. I pat the spot on my bed, for him to sit next to me. He silently closes the door and sits next to me.
I give him a quick glance to notice, he looked skinner since I last saw him and a lot paler too.
“Gomen nasai” we both say at the same time, and then nervously let out a laugh. I look at my hands as we both try to say something but stop when we notice the other was going to talk.
“I like what you did with your hair” he says as I give a small nod.
“Thank you, you don’t look so well, are you ok?” I ask as he gives me a forced smile.
“I’m fine, I just never noticed. I took what you said to heart, I’m sorry, for being a burden in your life. I want to separate myself so nothing else happens to you” he says as he gets up. I grab his arm quickly.
“Wait, I heard you talk, now let me talk” I say as I pull him next to me.
“I’ll listen” he says as I let him go.
“I don’t hate you” I say as I grab my plushie and hug it tightly. “I was stuck and I took it out on the first person and I was envious too, for no real reason. I don’t want to lose you, you have been so kind to me, you helped me so much. I just want your forgiveness” I add as I hug the plushie even more, then I notice Isshi looking at it and smiling, like he hasn’t for days.
“It looks like me from Haru Urara” he says as I nod. 
“I made it when I was sick with the flu after watching the clip way to many times” I say as I fix the clothing on the doll. Isshi gently remove the Plushie from me and look at it more closely.
“You did a great job on it” he says as he hands it back to me.
“I’m surprise I did well for the first one, its also my prized possession, since well this is embarrassing” I mutter as Isshi smiles. Is it me or has he forgiven me?
“You can tell me”
“Well, you’re my idol and I really like you and so I thought ‘ha, I’ll make a plushie and I can hug Isshi-san indirectly’, I feel so stupid telling you my dirty little secret” I manage to say as Isshi gave a laugh, it sounded like he hadn’t laughed in days.
“I feel happy knowing this, that someone out there was making a Plushie of me filled with love” Isshi says as I weakly smile, still feeling very stupid.
“We all have our dirty secrets” Isshi suddenly says as I look at him. “Trust me, when I read your story, I really wanted to meet you since you seem to know me and yet you didn’t either” he says as I smile at him. “I’m more than glad to meet you and I want to express something before it becomes overbearing” he adds as I tilt my head.
“What is it?” I ask as Isshi moves closer to me and remove the plushie from me.